What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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