Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops