if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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