Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Continents are large islands.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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