How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops