A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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