3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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Yo mama so fat.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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