How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

the sky is green no it is not

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...