Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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an athiest walks into a church

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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