A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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