a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

Mogok Papiti.

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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