a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops