Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

thumb_up thumb_down -31

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

learn. advance!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops