Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Penis chickens

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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