There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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kk

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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learn. advance!

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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