What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

Irish sobriety

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

Bryson got a concussion...he died

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

You having friends.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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