Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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