Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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