Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

the redsox

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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