Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops