Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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