Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops