Knock Know! Come in!

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Morning wood.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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which one is easiest

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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