A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

sorry got to poo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What hurts like hell? HELL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops