Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops