Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

THE GAME

whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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