saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops