How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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