What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops