Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops