A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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