Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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