can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops