shut up elliot

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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9/11.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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