Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

Death by kayak

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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