What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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PICKLES

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops