Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops