What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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