- Anti Joke

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

People Eating Tasty Animals

What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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