y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops