How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down -19

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wanna hear a joke? women's rights. jaye clenton is a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down -19

mark is religion

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops