when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Alchohol.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops