How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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