Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops