Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops