What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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69

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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