Anti-jokes are funny.

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

EGGPLANT

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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