Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Why was the woman?

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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What is the difference?

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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i dont fisish anythi

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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