What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Type better antijokes above

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

im watching you..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops