Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman wears a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Irish sobriety

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops