How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops