roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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