Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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hi

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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