Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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I like the color potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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