Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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A sober Irish individual.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Alchohol.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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