Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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Your face

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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